NOT RELATED TO TIGER My many lovers
As the sexy beast I am — chicks dig acne — it should be no surprise to anyone that I have had a number of lovers over the years. Here, I go through my past relationships and explain why they ended:
PREFROSH Happy endings and new beginnings
Wearing our school’s black graduation gown with my ceremonial decorations, I became one of our school’s 475 seniors to walk across the stage at the Daughters of the American Revolution Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday. With my diploma in hand, I felt a satisfying sense of finality coupled with optimism: I was ready to take on the world. Adding some amusement to the situation was the fact that I immediately had to return to the symphonic band to provide the ceremony’s live music — I played at my own graduation.
Institute Double Take
An empty hallway inside MIT Medical provides a study in texture and shape. The walls, ceiling, and floor are all different materials. One wall is brick, and the other consists of windows, though the texture from this perspective is dominated by the windows’ wooden borders. The floor is smooth tile, while the ceiling appears to be concrete. The image is thus split into four nearly triangle-shaped regions. The borders between these regions seem to converge to a single vanishing point, and would do so were the hallway infinite instead of abruptly truncated by a glass double door.
NOT RELATED TO TIGER Five things I hate
Reviewing my recent Tech pieces, I noticed that my columns have been very positive and upbeat. Trying to come up with a way to balance out all of this positivity, I remembered a video by ItsKingsleyBitch, one of my favorite vloggers, titled “Things I Hate.” It gave me an idea: I should write a “Things I Hate” column.
You’ve got a degree from MIT, but can you cook?
Congratulations, Class of 2011! You’ve made it through four years in TFP; a countless number of late-night p-sets, excruciating examinations, sessions of procrastination filled with AngryBirds and Facebook stalking, too many gallons of caffeine to count, and a vast canvas of memories too large to comprehend. In between those episodes of work and fun, there were Ramen noodles, Lean Cuisine boxes, Domino’s Pizza with the infamous cheesy bread, and stashes of free food that were collected from random locations on campus (but who cares, right? It’s free food!). But now, you’re at the end of your time at MIT. As you enter the “real world,” it may be necessary to start cooking. If the thought of holding a spatula makes you hyperventilate, take a few deep breaths — The Tech has you covered. Below are a few easy recipes that will make you look like a culinary genius while also ensuring that the fire alarm doesn’t get tripped off every time you get near a stove.
Institute Double Take
A thick fog engulfs the Harvard Bridge on April 26, obscuring Boston from view. As a photographic element, fog is often used to evoke emotions of serenity or mystery. To get the most dramatic effects out of fog, try to capture both a clear, crisp foreground in addition to a fading background to give the photograph a sense of depth while providing a direction for the viewer to follow. It’s usually best to capture fog at dawn or dusk — luckily this is when most fog occurs — as there is still enough ambient lighting from street, car, and building lights to shine through the fog, adding beautiful, diffuse light sources while the rest of the landscape is still barely illuminated by the sun.
TALK NERDY TO ME The lost and found tale of online identity
At the start of the semester, I blogged an image of an ad saying “penicillin cures gonorrhea in 4 hours” with the added quote, “‘And, if you happen to have a really bad hookup, you might need this organic compound the next day.’ —5.12 professor on reasons why you should study organic chemistry.” I knew that many of the people who read my personal blog would appreciate the dorky humor behind the joke. I didn’t expect it to fuel online trolls into releasing my work address, in addition to an incorrect work address for my dad. I also didn’t expect these trolls to misconstrue the quote as my discussing my personal life, let alone as an admission that I’ve contracted gonorrhea. I’ve never contracted gonorrhea — or any STIs, for that matter — but as the picture states, it is curable!
BROUHAHA RHYTHM From the Cradle of Liberty to the City of Angels
Has it been four years already? Good grief. It seems like just yesterday I was watching Looney Tunes and eating Cocoa Pebbles straight out of the box. I think it’s a sign I’m not quite ready to grow up — because that’s exactly what I was doing yesterday. I mean, sure, I’ve been living on my own for a good portion of the past four years, but in a relatively structured environment, with plenty of external financial support (thanks, Mom and Dad). To say that college is a better approximation of real life than high school would be like saying a defective toy boat is superior to a working one as an approximation of the RMS Titanic. Yes, it’s technically more accurate, but there really isn’t a substitute for the genuine article.
NERDY WITH A CHANCE OF RANDOM Fighting awkward with awkward
One evening as I headed home from the Student Center, I was standing in the elevator, minding my own business and thinking about electromagnetic waves and how they propagate in space. Then the elevator came to an abrupt stop. The door slid open, and a couple stepped into the confined space, holding hands. No big deal, right? That’s what I thought — until they started acting all couple-like, hanging onto each other like a pair of positively and negatively charged particles.
MIT150 Sparkle! Campus lights up for FAST event
“You would not believe your eyes / If ten million fireflies / Lit up the world as I fell asleep.”
Afterhours with Richard R. Schrock
Professor Richard R. Schrock somehow manages to do it all. He has won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry, teaches, does research, has a family, a woodworking hobby, and is starting his own company. At the undergraduate level, he’s taught 5.112 (Principles of Chemical Science). Here, he gives his thoughts on what actor he thinks would be able to fit this role in the movie of his life and explains how he got his start in chemistry at eight years old while making banana-scented esters.
CLUB CONNECTION This is not your grandmother’s spinning club
Fire. That bright orange blaze speaks to a nostalgic part of me, reminding me of toasting marshmallows and chilly nights alternating roasting and freezing. Both a danger and a delight, fire can be tamed and turned into a performance art by those brave and skilled enough to wield it — namely, the MIT Spinning Club.
Events: May 10 - May 16
Events May 10 – May 16 Tuesday (8:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.) Blood Drive, sponsored by ARCTAN — W20, La Sala de Puerto Rico (5:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.) Legatum Lecture: Experiences in the Emerging Profession of Technology-Based Entrepreneurship (Speaker: Dr. Noubar Afeyan) — E62-233 (5:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m., 7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.) MIT Chamber Music Society Student Concert — Killian Hall Wednesday (12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m.) Artists Beyond the Desk presents Windhammer, a woodwind quintet with piano — Killian Hall (7:00 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.) AMCAS (American Medical College Application Service) Q&A Session — 4-231 Thursday (4:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) GSC Acoustic Barbecue — Stata Center Amphitheater (7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) MIT Improvisation Ensemble Concert — Killian Hall Friday (5:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.) Reel World: MIT, a look “behind the scenes” at historic and entertaining films from MIT’s archives — MIT Museum (7:00 p.m., 10:00 p.m.) LSC shows E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial — 26-100 Saturday (2:00 p.m. – 3:30 p.m.) MIT Concert Band Spring Performance — Kresge Auditorium (7:30 p.m. – 11:30 p.m.) Social dance with the MIT Ballroom Dance Club — Walker Memorial Sunday (9:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.) Swapfest — Albany Steet Garage and Lot (4:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.) International Contemporary Ensemble presents works of Keeril Makan — Killian Hall (8:30 p.m. – 10:30 p.m.) Flippin’ for Finals, aka Late Night Breakfast — W20 Lobdell Monday (7:00 p.m.) Professor Walter H. G. Lewin Physics Demonstration and Book Signing — 26-100 Send your campus events to events@tech.mit.edu.
Cheat Sheet aka that random stuff that never shows up on the test
The Tech: You like classical music, so if you had one composer you had to listen to on repeat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Institute Double Take
Browsing through my archive of photos, I was struck by the inherent contrast both in and between these two images. The former, shot on a sunny July 4, depicts the North Court in a state of construction-induced disarray. The photo itself, on the other hand, is clean and crisp — almost frozen.
PREFROSH — CLASS OF 2015 The road to comMITment
From that fateful moment on Dec. 16 when I was accepted to MIT, I knew that I was in for a very different four years than most of my friends, should I choose to attend. The shock of getting into the college that I had always considered my dream school didn’t wear off until several months later. However, as reality sunk in and I enjoyed the warm California winter and plentiful sleep of senior year, I started to wonder — was MIT truly where I wanted to go?
PREFROSH — CLASS OF 2015 Finding the right match
Click. Check. Click. In the span of a few seconds, I went from being an undecided high school senior to a member of the MIT Class of 2015. As the confirmation screen loaded, I optimistically imagined attending an insanely difficult — yet rewarding — physics class, seeing a Saturday night show in Boston, or just hanging out with friends in a floor lounge, debating an insignificant topic with intricate precision. I began to really look forward to college.
Institute Double Take
An abstract perspective of MIT’s Chemistry building, Building 18, viewed from the west. At night, the windows light up in a grid pattern; the yellow glow strongly contrasts the black outer walls.