Dr. Grammarphile
“You’re dog was tracking mud all through there house. I was literally so embarrassed that I thought I’d die!”
Events Feb. 1 - Feb. 6
Events feb. 01 – feb. 04 Wednesday (12:30 – 1:30 p.m.) Class of 2015: Get to Know Your Faculty — 4-145 (1:30 – 2:30 p.m.) Gravitational Lensing is Fantastic!: A lecture about gravitational lensing and its applications in astrophysics — 6-120 Thursday (12:00 – 1:30 p.m.) Class of 2014 and 2015 Alumni Class Connections Luncheon: Meet MIT alumni for a talk about careers and how MIT shaped their lives — Mezzanine Lounge (W-20) Friday (5:00 – 8:00 p.m.) Maslab Final Competition: come see robots smash walls, hurl balls, and compete for glory! — 26-100 (8:00 – 9:00 p.m.) Roadkill Buffet Improv Comedy Show — 6-120 Monday (9:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.) MIT Techfair 2012: MIT’s biggest student-run tech expo — Rockwell Cage Send your campus events to events@tech.mit.edu.
Pickup lines? Try meaningful conversation
Hello lovely readers of The Tech! This week I’m going to tell you about how to get to know someone better whom you find romantically interesting. This article is advice for someone interested in a potential relationship, so if you want tips on one-night stands or random hook-ups, you might want to look elsewhere.
Events Jan 25 - Jan 31
Events jan. 25 – jan. 31 Wednesday (12:00 p.m. – 1:30 p.m.) The Feynman Films: Symmetry in Physical Law — 6-120 (12:30 p.m. – 1:30 p.m.) The Class of 2015 – Tips for a Successful Sophomore Year Experience — 4-159 Thursday (2:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.) The Office of Minority Education and UROP host the UROP Expo — Kresge Lobby (7:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.) Roadkill Buffet’s IAP Improv Comedy Workshop — 5-217 Friday (8:00 a.m. – 3:30 p.m.) Council on Staff Diversity & Inclusion, Committee on Race and Diversity present the Institute Diversity Summit 2012 — 10-250 (2:00 p.m. –4:00 p.m.) LIFE AFTER MIT: Taking the next step in academic science, advice on obtaining grants — 68-181 Saturday (12:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.) Fixit Clinic XVIII: Fix your broken stuff or learn more about it by disassembling it — 4-409 Sunday (4:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.) Techiya Social Singing, MIT’s Jewish/Hebrew/Israeli a cappella group! — Lobby 10 Monday (3:30 p.m. – 4:30 p.m.) How to Find a UROP: Learn about UROP and how to find a UROP project that is the right fit — 4-145 (12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m.) Tech’s Top Teachers Talk Turkey: a session with some of MIT’s best teachers about how to teach well — 4-163 (4:40 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.) MITHENGE (Infinite Sunset); don’t block the corridor — 3rd floor Infinite Corridor Building 8 end Tuesday (10:00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.) Response and Revision: Helping Students Develop their Ideas in Writing — 12-134 (3:30 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.) IAP Math Music Recital: the math department’s annual music recital — Killian Hall Send your campus events to events@tech.mit.edu.
MIND AND HEALTH Relax your mind and focus
Meditation is a captivating but elusive practice, made famous for its benefits but frustrating for its intangibleness. Some describe it as not thinking about anything, but, then, what happens if you do think about something? If you admonished yourself every time a-triple-chocolate-chip-cookie craving came to mind, you’d soon grow exhausted. Others say a meditative frame of mind bids you to take the opposite approach, by making absolutely no effort to control the mind’s thoughts. For still others, meditation is intent focus on the present moment, for example, feeling the coolness of the air, and the dry crush of fallen leaves underneath one’s feet.
NERDY WITH A CHANCE OF RANDOM Letting the stream of life flow unimpeded
This past year, I turned twenty.
ASK CHACHA Does your recruiter “like” your status?
Hello students of MIT! Let me introduce The Tech’s new advice column, written by yours truly, Chacha. In the future, I’d love to respond to your requests, so go ahead and email your questions (about anything!) to askchacha@the-tech.mit.edu. As for now, here is my advice on how clean your social network should be for potential employers.
Events Jan 18 - Jan 24
Events Jan. 18 – Jan. 24 wednesday (5:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) Bang Your Head! - Heavy Metal 101 — 14N-217 (7:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) Investigating Sherlock Holmes — 32-141 Thursday (12:00 p.m. – 1:30 p.m.) The Annual Hummus Taste-Off — 10-105 (6:00 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) Public Art at MIT — Bartos Theatre friday (11:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.) Dear Diary – Before There Were Blogs presented by MIT Archives — 14N-118 (6:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.) Hacker Movies: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Cowboy Bebop’s “Jamming with Edward”— E15-344 saturday (2:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.) Association of Taiwanese Students Cooking Workshop — McCormick Dining (7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) Showing of De battre mon cœur s’est arrêté (The Beat That My Heart Skipped) — 6-120 sunday (9:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.) 16th MIT European Career Fair — Johnson Athletics Center monday (1:00 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.) The Great Recession in Historical Perspective — E51-335 (5:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m.) The Internet Shouldn’t Work: Networking 101 — 4-237 tuesday (2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.) Dark Energy: The Greatest Mystery in the Universe — 37-252 (7:00 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.) Screening of Shouting in the Dark — 56-114 Send your campus events to events@tech.mit.edu.
Events Jan 11 - Jan 17
Events Jan. 11 – Jan. 17 Wednesday (4:30 p.m. – 5:30 p.m.) Noam Chomsky on the Arab Spring and the future of the Middle East — NW86-120 (6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m.) Harbison, Zinman, Murrihy, Symposium on Harbison’s Symphony No. 6 — Kresge Auditorium Thursday (11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.) The Current State of Health Care Reform in the US presented by Jonathan Gruber — E51-395 (6:00 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) Islam 101 — 1-277 Friday (6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.) Film screening of Bringing King to China — 66-110 (8:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.) FiLmprov: Film and Musical Improvisation Event — 14W-111 Saturday (9:30 a.m. – 10:45 a.m.) Free figure skating and ice dance classes — Johnson Ice Rink Sunday (2:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.) Snow Quidditch — Briggs Field Monday (4:00 p.m. – 5:30 p.m.) Drag Workshop: Drag 101 — Kresge Rehearsal Room B (6:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.) Hacker Movies: The Wunderkids — E15-344 Tuesday (1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.) How to Feel As Bright and Capable As Everyone Seems to Think You Are presented by Valerie Young — 34-101 (2:30 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.) Why Nations Fail: The Origins of Poverty and Prosperity — E51-335 Send your campus events to events@tech.mit.edu.
Taking Steve Jobs off the GOATS list
I came up with the GOATs (Greatest of All Times) list decision-making process during my sophomore year at MIT. It quickly became my go-to guide for making tough life decisions. In the beginning, there were only three GOATs. Lady Gaga and Eminem were tier one, and Charlie Sheen was tier two. The GOATs process involved complex Bayesian analysis, but the basics of it were this: whenever I couldn’t decide what to do, I would ask myself, “What would Lady Gaga and Eminem do in this situation?” If they would do the same thing, I went with that. If there was no clear consensus, Charlie Sheen was the tiebreaker.
Editor's Note
Starting this issue, we will be running Newsday crossword puzzles from Creators Syndicate.
WELCOME 2012: New year, new look
Out with the old, in with the new; that’s what New Years is for. Having learned from the mistakes of the past, a new year is time for a new beginning. As a sophomore looking back at 2011, I noticed that my freshman enthusiasm had crashed into the reality of classes, p-sets, and the need to find a career lucrative enough to pay off my college debts. I holed myself in my room, without going to the student theater shows and lectures I had formerly enjoyed. Worse still, my increasing workload led to a stagnant routine: a while-loop of note-taking, studying, and sweating over exams. Surely there was more to college life than this. I was supposed to become a well-rounded adult, not a workaholic.
IN YOUR COMMUNITY Meet Professor Robert Langer
“When I first came here, after a year or two, a lot of people told me I should leave. They said I was never going to even get promoted past assistant professor. A lot of people in the scientific community didn’t believe in the science I was doing; they thought it was wrong. And so I got my first nine grants turned down,” recounted Professor Robert S. Langer ScD ’74.
Events: Dec. 13 - Dec. 15
Events Dec. 13 – Dec. 15 Tuesday (9:00 a.m. – 4:30 p.m.) MIT Student Art Association Ceramics Sale — Lobby 10 (12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m.) Large Hadron Collider Higgs Jamboree seminar, status revealed on the research of the Higgs Boson particle — 32-123 Wednesday (5:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) Defeating Alzheimer’s: The science and business of solving neurodegenerative disease — 32-123 (8:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) Roadkill Buffet Free Comedy Show — 6-120 Thursday (2:00 p.m. – 3:30 p.m.) Cookies with Canines Study Break, take a study break and de-stress with a dog — Hayden and Barker libraries (6:00 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) I “Heart” Neutrinos: A Film Screening by Jennifer West — E15 (Bartos Theatre) Send your campus events to events@tech.mit.edu.
RANDOM NEURONAL FIRINGS 16 shots of coffee
As MIT students, who’s a better friend than coffee? When the aroma of freshly brewed coffee from Bosworth’s Cafe in Lobby 7 stimulates my olfactory neurons, I often get the urge to know more about coffee’s origin. Here are 16 fun facts about coffee:
TALK WORDY TO ME Deck the balls with jugs of bourbon
People in Boston always seem to be surprised by my affinity to bourbon. Maybe it’s not a girly drink, but I grew up in a town that borders Kentucky, which is all about bourbon. This includes the delightful treat known as a bourbon ball, which people frequently get as stocking stuffers around the holidays. The first time I heard about these was in middle school when my best friend swore she managed to get drunk from eating a box of these. So when I make these, I am very heavy-handed with the bourbon.
Events: Dec. 06 - Dec. 12
Events Dec. 06 – dec. 12 Tuesday (7:30 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.) Fresh Songs: First-year songwriters at Next House — Next House TFL Wednesday (12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m.) Artists Beyond the Desk presents: The Meridian Singers — W15 (MIT Chapel) (5:30 p.m. – 7:00 p.m.) Reinventing the City @ MIT: A Planet of Civic Laboratories: The Future of Cities, Information and Inclusion — E14 - 633 Thursday (6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.) Visions & Projections — An Evening Celebrating the Legacy of the Center for Advanced Visual Studies (CAVS) — E15-001 (MIT Cube, Wiesner Building) Friday (5:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.) HSA Speaker Series: “Beware of Greeks bearing debt” presented by Professor Miron — E51-315 (7:00 p.m.) LSC shows Elf (free admission) — 26-100 Saturday (6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) Association of Puerto Rican Students Christmas Dinner — W20-491 Sunday (12:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.) Salsa/Rueda Dance Workshop — Student Center Room 407 (4:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.) Unforgettable: ADT Fall 2011 showcase — W20-La Sala de Puerto Rico (8:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.) MIT Muses Fall Concert — 6-120 Monday (7:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) Black Students’ Union Study Break — 50-105 Send your campus events to events@tech.mit.edu.
RANDOM NEURONAL FIRINGS Winter weather for dummies!
The red and yellow leaves beautifying trees around campus not long ago have started falling. Most trees now stand bare, reminding us of the Boston winter that is slowly creeping in. Boston is pretty windy, rainy, and snowy — MIT even closes down sometimes due to snowstorms. But we can’t just lock ourselves in our dorm rooms, right? We need to combat the cold and the wind and finish our p-sets and graduate. Check out the tips below and see if you have everything ready!
Events: Nov. 29 - Dec. 5
Events Nov. 29 – Dec. 5 Tuesday (5:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) The Music of Ethiopia and Eritrea — 2-105 (7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) The Street Just Out of Sight: A reading and talk with Ta-Nehisi Coates, a senior editor at The Atlantic — 6-120 Wednesday (12:30 p.m. – 1:30 p.m.) Lunchtime Gallery Talk by Professor Caroline A. Jones — E15 (6:00 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) DISCUSS.it with Pranav Mistry, creator of Sixth Sense — 3-422 Thursday (6:00 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) List Visual Arts Center Gallery Talk by Art Historian Martha Buskirk — E15 (6:00 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.) MISTI Foreign Night Film series: The Green Dumpster Mystery — W31-301 Friday (5:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.) Thai Festival of Light — 50-100 (7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) MIT SAAS: Brownies On Ice — W34 (8:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.) MIT Logarhythms Winter Concert — Kresge Auditorium (8:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.) RAMBAX Senegalese Drumming Ensemble — W20 Lobdell Saturday (2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.) 150 Alive: The Most Studied Brain — MIT Museum (8:00 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.) Trashion Show — Next House TFL Commons (8:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.) MIT Concert Choir, William Cutter, Music Director — Kresge Auditorium Sunday (8:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.) Techiya Fall 2011 Concert — 6-120 Monday (7:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.) Elijah Wald Presents the History & Early Blues’ Traditions — 4-231 Send your campus events to events@tech.mit.edu.
THANKSGIVING A tale of two turkeys
Once upon a time, there were two turkeys, which I shall refer to as Turkey A and Turkey B, in order to avoid garnering any sympathy for them. Fortunately for them, they lived a charmed life on a small family farm, unlike their debeaked relatives on overcrowded farms. Instead of being the industrial Broad-Breasted White breed, too broad-breasted to reproduce without artificial insemination, they were a slower-growing heirloom variety with a more robust flavor.