Let me go
I’m dissociating
THE TECH
On the first day of being I was a happy frog
Perched on the back of a manatee
Hidden behind those peek-a-boo palms
Were eager eyes possessed to me
I remember
A hundred in fluorescent weeds
Aisles of tanks whose kindness I owe not to
For my greatest desires were encased in glass
And my greatest woes not true
I remember
The jellied threads dangling from her mouth
Like the strings of life and fate that snap
So tenderly split between her thin-lipped tears
And on the ceramic mantelpiece it cracks
I remember
Like the cracking of a bow at pizzicatos
I quiver at the dawning a cent-flat G
The lily pads shake in thin-veiled anticipation
And it falls and falls and falls on me
I remember
Leathery skin stains scars brown
On the white of a lakeside elephant
The motors are coming, the motors are coming
But to flee is not my temperament
I remember
Pride is a sin but they never warned me
That they feast on it at love’s expense
When what they own is an expensive thing
They will bask in their pretense
I remember
It happened one day, came crashing down
I drowned and screamed his name
I fought but couldn’t — my mind was gone
From my body and was never the same
I remember
Then came the disbelief, the grief of time
Blood filled the water; my skin breathed the flames
My amphibious disguise couldn’t save a life
And it devours me in shame
I remember
What do I know anyway? I’m just so young
How could one possibly know?
Sewn within me is where I’m from
The blue and the black and the iridescent glow
I remember
His eyes consume me as his lips shape the words
Hold me please I beg of you and show
Me everything will be okay and it gets better
And he tries; but how are you to know?
I remember
Will the ripples ever stop? Do they ever stop?
Oh god, they’re turning again, they’re turning
On me I bear my life too much to breathe
The words they submerge in me are burning!—
Please
Let me go, set me free, take these chains off of me
Dangling crows above my head
Threats and fear, just rip their threads
Let me live like I’m not dead
I want to live, I want to live
On the first day of being you gave me life
And even today I pay that price
I beg of you please see your art
If there’s any left inside your heart
I want to live, I want to live
My body is breaking; my heart is bruised
But I beg for my future: don’t take that too?