Gonna go fast like a Linoone
Super Audi speed
The Audi dealership sped through my field of view. “Call them,” he said from the front seat, gesturing vaguely behind him. “Uh — uh okay,” I muttered. I retreated further into my hoodie, wanting to vanish. But I pulled out my phone anyway and went to my maps app, trying in vain to relocate where we were and pinpointing the particular dealership.
“I, I don’t really know which one that was,” I said. I didn’t want to make the call. I was too tired, too worn out from the day, but I was ultimately in the back of this person’s cab.
“Ask what they’re thinking for the SUV.” He was persistent. How did I get myself into this situation?
I really didn’t want to make the call. Here’s what’s going to happen: I’m going to call the dealership. I’ll put the representative on speaker. It’ll be the wrong Audi dealership. It will be awkward. A battle ensues. I do something useless, like Mud Sport. I will disappear. Poof. Gone, the wild Pokémon has escaped. I am fast. I am Linoone.
Alas, I couldn’t get away. With my foot still broken, what was I expecting to do? Jump out of the car window and, like a movie starring Ryan Reynolds, survive this stunt? No. No. I was out of options. I was no Linoone. I am Cascoon. I hide in my coat. I use Harden and weep.
I feel like I just made eye contact with the person overseeing me take my COVID-19 test. The unsettling tension. I just wanted to go home from the hospital in peace without having to walk a few hours. Was that too much to ask? Apparently so.
The phone rang a few times, but nobody picked up. “Okay, just cancel it,” the raspy voice ushered. I sigh in relief. Crisis averted. Eyes averted. I felt like a criminal taking refuge in a getaway car while being held at gunpoint. Too many metaphors? Probably. Does it even make sense? No. But neither did this entire social interaction I just partook in. And maybe that’s why I’m writing about it.
“Thank you,” I said as I shut the car door and left as quickly as it was socially acceptable. I found myself standing in a puddle just outside of H Mart. I inhale the rain. The petrichor calms me. Calm Mind. I am Suicune. I am water.
I flow and ebb through the social interactions of the rest of my day. But now, somehow, it all seems like a breeze.