Campus Life

Love those turtlenecks

Don’t panic — it’s just a little bit of skin

I recently received a call from a friend who had found herself in a tricky situation with a foreign male. You see, they were feeling a bit frisky and decided to get better acquainted, and her excitement quickly diminished once she was ambushed by the fella’s uncircumcised ween.

“I just didn’t know what to do with... all of that extra skin!” Girlfriend, you can sure make a tiny fold of skin sound like you’re dealing with Jared’s floppy belly pre-Subway diet. She definitely overreacted.

As someone who has a very well-documented thing for foreign men, dealing with foreskin was something I had to pick up swiftly once I realized that leaving the peen in its natural state was the norm outside the States. At first I had the same reaction as my friend, but once I learned how to handle the uncut and untamed, there was no reason to turn someone down just because he was sporting a turtleneck. A little bit of skin covering the tip is really no reason to trip!

Before I launch into the usual raunch, we all need to know what I’m talking about here. Foreskin is a small fold of skin that covers the head of the penis and retracts when it is fully erect. Circumcision means cutting that bit of skin such that the tip of the penis is always exposed. About 60 percent of American men my age are circumcised, which might explain why some girls don’t know what to do with intact wangs: They just haven’t seen a lot of ’em.

Despite inconclusive studies, some argue that the increased exposure to such a sensitive part of the penis desensitizes it. I don’t have a penis, so I will never know for sure, but the guys I’ve talked to are mighty happy to have their foreskin intact. The foreskin itself, being part of an organ that gives sexual pleasure, is loaded with nerve endings. An uncircumcised Icelander put it succinctly when talking to my circumcised American friend: “I can come better than you.” Can’t argue with that!

But I came here to demystify foreskin for the peen-loving folk, so let me get back to that. Some will say that the extra bit is not flattering and it makes penis look “weird,” and to that I’ll give one over-the-top eye roll.

If you should have learned anything after reading my column for so long is that I advocate trouping like no other, and sex is not about how things look but rather how they feel. Don’t be discouraged if things look different — and yes, I do mean “different,” not “ugly” or “weird” — just be a trouper and find yourself pleasantly surprised. In any event, I’ve never been able to tell if a guy is uncut or not when he is fully erect (especially if we’re using a condom) and I doubt you will either.

Another one I’ve heard is that uncut peen is “dirty.” There’s a lot more room for smegma to get lost in, for sure, but this is more a function of the type of guy you’re dealing with than anything else. If a guy reaches college age and can’t properly wash his man meat, I hate to break it to you, but you’re just dealing with a dirty dude, plain and simple. I bet you he’d still be gross if he was circumcised, so don’t blame the foreskin.

Aesthetics aside, I think the most kickass thing about the extra bit is how it feels. That’s right — it feels as good for the ladies as it does for the guys. If you ever find yourself in a committed relationship with an uncircumcised man and you have the chance to experience it in its latex-free glory, you’ll see what I’m talking about. It helps retain the lubrication and adds another layer of sensation to both parties. I think that’s pretty win-win right there.

But then how do you handle such delicate thing? The usual advice is “peel back and enjoy the treat,” and you can do that, but don’t take the extra bit for granted. If you’re stumped for ideas, just ask the guy. Odds are you are not the first one he’s had to teach, and it’s in his best interest anyway. Just keep in mind that the wang is great in any shape it comes, and be open to trying new things. Especially if they come with a foreign accent.

M. is a senior in Course 10. She can be contacted at